Those Infamous Hollywood Milieu Columns:
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Click each story to read:

A Windy Night in LA
Inspirations on the set of Seabiscuit with Tobey Maguire and Jeff Bridges

The Gargoyles of December
On the Sony Pictures set of Charlies Angels 2 with Drew. Cameron. Lucy.

Meeting The President
Working The West Wing.

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner?
Party crashing in LA Gets Ugly!

A Beautiful Night
With Faye Dunaway at The Writers Guild.

Mickey Rooney and Me
The Roosevelt Hotel gig.

Living and Trying in LA
Mixing with those gods & goddesses.

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Living and Trying in LA
Hollywood Milieu ©2002
By Denny Dormody

The Klieg lights were blazing. The paparazzi were popping. I'm standing in line. Some male model that belongs on an Armani photo shoot is asking me for my photo ID. Seated next to him is another gatekeeper, a model-actress-official with a killer body. With all the new security checks I'm hoping she demands a strip search. I'm always hoping. You see I'm eating hope for breakfast because I'm Living and Trying in LA to sell the great American screenplay. This is The Hollywood Reporter, the entertainment industry trade paper and their 'Next Generation' launch party at the Max Factor Museum here in Tinsel Town.
How did a humble daytime telemarketer; nighttime screenwriter make it onto this coveted list? You don't want to know. Maybe an actor buddy was on the catering team? Maybe I knew someone in the band? Maybe this is a final couple of hours of payback for that community service I'm working off for that almost-a-felony incident you may have read about in the Tabloids? Whatever.
We walk along the red carpet that looks to my jaded eyes like a long pink bath towel. I'm rubbing against the Hollywood gliterati as News at 11-camera crews jostle for interviews. I blend in with the background as I've done on over 70 major motion pictures working as a background extra. Extra. That's LA-speak for an actor with no speaking lines
We enter the Max Factor building. Some Fred Astaire types dressed in Tuxedos and top hats welcome us aboard. This is Surreal. The top-hatters deliver a song and dance hyper-spiel about Max Factor being the greatest make-up artist in the world. Next we are escorted to a couple of rooms complete with make-up chairs and old movie cameras. Next a bar with martinis. I ask for a glass of water. There is none.
A creaky freight elevator chugs us up a few floors. My elevator companions sip their Martinis. As we ascend, the elevator floor shadows rake across my face. I can hear music. The elevator stops. The beautiful people get off. So do I.
More pictures of Max and his make-up sirens. Lana. Eartha. Marilyn. Costumes from before James Dean enrolled at Santa Monica Junior College. We are all escorted up more stairs. The music grows louder.
The epi-center. More beautiful people. Food! Finger food! All the people with movie star teeth mingle with the moguls. I scarf down a few morsels. I'll need my nourishment after the gig for the long ride home back to the anonymity of the Hollywood milieu. A goddess offers me Tequila something or other. How beautiful was she? Okay, let's just say she had more curves than Ventura Blvd.
I wangle a small table near the music. Entertaining is Dawn Bishop, a hip lady that belts out some great blues. I cajole some passers-by into joining my table. More gliterati arrive. I improvise a few profound observations with my new best friends: "Great turn out" and "this food is great" always give me immediate credibility. I want them to think that Im some kind of talent agent or just paroled entertainment lawyer so they'll hold my seat as I go in search of water. More goddesses arrive. More food is served. In the back, I stumble onto a bar with mineral water.
As I navigate through the conundrum of goddesses and business suits with my water glasses, some lady asks me if we had met at the Texas Film Festival in Austin. The closest I've ever come to Texas was maybe watching George Steven's Giant on cable or maybe a CNN round up of recent Lone Star State executions that only Texans do so well. I was once in Utah though. Park City for the Sundance and Slamdance Film Festivals. I make a mental note to thank God for such pleasant memories as She always comes through for me.
As I round another table of finger food, I notice two imposing dudes with white shirts and sporting official looking badges. LAFD fire marshals. They look worried. Too many gods and goddesses for the size of the room. A PR guys takes the microphone. As I find my seat I drink in the mineral water like a thirsty lounge lizard. He invites everybody to 'tour the lower floors and sample the other culinary delights.' The ploy works. Curiosity seekers and gourmets head for the lower floors. The crowd thins out. The fire marshals smile. The band plays. Later, I drive home exhausted to my small survival apartment. It's just big enough to swing a cat, but it's home. It's been a great night. A night of hope. A night of music. A night of goddesses. Hey, Hooray for Hollywood.